What’s your favorite SNL sketch?

 

It’s been a few years since I had a real SNL lol moment. I tried watching skits from this year. Conclusion: meh. There’s a special place in my heart for Tina, Kristen, Amy, Maya, and Rachel. Come on with “The Nest!”   Until then, let us share ye olde SNL clips. Here are some of my favorites:

 

#1: Lynn Doot  and Jamilla Rose la Perkins.

(click the pictures to open the video in Yahoo. It’s safe.)

Miley and Kristen

Rock-a-Billy Lady Party and Cream

 

#2: Lonely Island in Flaggy Flag!

#3: a remix by “Robert Goulet” 

goulet

 

#4:  Scarlett Johansson wants you to buy marble columns. Okay!

 

#5: “Donnatella Versace” for Halloween.

#6: Hillary and Sarah, 2008.

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#7: Debbie Downer visits the Happiest Place on earth..

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#8: Penelope means well.. tumblr_m5mg6zoV4g1qewm9xo1_500

 

#9: The Barry Gibb Talk Show

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#10: Kaitlin at the Mall tumblr_lmnql7Joa81qknzb0o1_500

Oh Shit Kit

“What’s in your Bag?” is a popular hashtag for bloggers and instagrammers. It’s fun to see someone else’s junk organized neatly. Some of them are cool, but some of them I’m like, “I have a feeling you don’t always carry macaroons and a 1994 Game Boy in your purse.” Obviously, your lifestyle and destination will determine what’s in your bag. For me, it’s all about thinking ahead and avoiding easy mistakes/discomforts.  After tossing out gum wrappers and wadded-up receipts, it’s time to present my version of “What’s in your Bag?” : What’s in your Oh Shit Kit. This kit has been carefully curated to provide minimal stress in sticky situations and increase safety on the road. No fake stuff thrown in here to impress you.  Whether you’re on foot, in a bus, or riding on 2 wheels…having your own Oh Shit Kit will make life better, especially if you find yourself uttering those 2 ugly words.

Here is what’s in my Oh Shit Kit; for a girl on a scooter.

#1 item: Your Brain =  this is important. don’t leave this at the bar or at home. be alert and prepared.

Mental Checklist:

  • Weather – check the weather before you leave. plan accordingly. here’s a few of my favorite free weather apps: Wunderground (best extended forecast) The Weather Channel App (best radar) Accuweather (best notices for upcoming weather, example “Rain will start in 25 minutes.”)
  • Gas – avoid a rookie mistake and always make sure you have gas before going out. if you ride a shifty, don’t forget the oil!
  • Gear – i never leave home without a helmet and gloves, at least. a jacket and good shoes are also a necessity. no sandals!
  • Route - use Google Maps or Waze to plan your route, anticipate traffic and construction, re-route if needed.
  • Lights - plan to make it home before dark if your lights are dim or out. carry extra fuses.
  • Tires – check your tires before you leave.
  • Blinkers -  make sure they work if you have em. if your blinkers go out, know the proper hand signals.
  • Tools – air pressure gauge, screwdrivers, wrench, flash light or neon to be seen at night

Keys - scooter key, house key, work badge…bring em!

Hair Ties - windblown locks are demonic. always carry an extra hair tie. thank me later. (my current favorite hair tie… strong and reflective! double duty!)

Gloves - slow down, callous. wear gloves for comfort and safety. (don’t you just love these gloves?)

Chapstick/Lipgloss - consider one with SPF. (my current favorite is Jack Black – Intense Lip Therapy.)

Zip Ties - carry at least 2. they have saved me two towing sessions.

ID/Insurance Card/Emergency Contact Info Card - just in case.

First Aide – alcohol wipes, band-aides, Neosporin, aspirin, nail file, etc

Mobile Phone - make sure it’s charged! (used it to take the picture)

Extras - skin care and beauty samples like perfume are great to include in your kit. mini- anything! a good luck charm. a reusable shopping bag. water bottle. a snack. bank card.

Doesn’t this girl look like she could be checking her Twitter or picking at her gel nails?

A girl on a scooter, New York City, 1965 – photograph by Joel Meyerowitz

A girl on a scooter, New York City, 1965 – photograph by Joel Meyerowitz

Leave a comment and tell me what you keep in your Oh Shit Kit. What items have saved your day?

Are your eyes in your ears?

Lately I’ve been listening. Who doesn’t love a good audio adventure? This is a true story. The first sound I hear every morning before dawn is this bird with the sweetest chirp-coo.  Birdie is there every single morning, chanting the same sweet mantra. The soft chatter and chirps are hardly enough to disturb even the most sensitive ears. It sounds like a super gentle sneaker-on-gym-floor-squeak Morse code.  A big part of me wants to see this bird up close, inspect the nest, see if there are other chickadees.  Like the muse Clio, Birdie is ever elusive, yet reveals its self in the oddest ways. I know the sound of this chirp by heart; it’s the sweetest, most mellifluous thing. But despite my search efforts, I’ve never actually seen Birdie. This bird just wants to be heard! So, I’m listening. I stopped shining a flashlight into the bushes and started to just enjoy the music.

Also impressing my ear-bowls lately…AUDIOBOOKS! My Audible .com Wishlist is out.of.control and this addiction is not waning. So many authors to discover and stories to melt into. Don’t get me wrong, you will stumble upon audiobooks that are frankly unlistenable..poor sound quality, weak performance. But when you find the right story with the right storyteller, it’s magic. I love non-fiction, comedy, classics, mystery, memoirs, anything that boggles the mind. Promise me you will listen to an Audiobook? Turn off Opie and Anthony and tune into some brain food. Got loops in your mind? Enjoy a story. Listen. Find your new voice-crush. You might be blown away. Isn’t it exciting to be unexpectedly blown away? I’ll make you a list of some of my favorites. I hereby give you permission to find an audiobook that moves you. And if you don’t, I’ll narrate one for your listening pleasure!

Blair’s Audiobook Recommendations:

Bossypants by Tina Fey

The Magic of Reality by Richard Dawkins

Undisputed Truth by Mike Tyson

Girl Walks Into a Bar… by Rachel Dratch

A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson

Lit: A Memoir by Mary Karr

The Shining by Stephen King

The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption and Pee by Sarah Silverman

Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman

The Most Dangerous Animal of All: Searching for my Father…and Finding the Zodiak Killer by Gary L. Stewart

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain

 

Please comment if you’ve enjoyed any of the books mentioned above. I’d also love to hear your recommendations!

RiRi Hearts MAC

Rihanna is hott. She dominates important territory: music, beauty, and fashion. In her latest video for “Pour It Up,” she is drenched in Chanel and sporting magenta eyebrows. I’ll blog about that later.
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RiRi Hearts MAC Fall collection was beautifully muted. I especially loved the rose gold package design. Most items sold out on the first day, so I missed my chance to buy the RiRi ♥s MAC Lipstick in Nude. It’s definitely the star of the collection. Described as a “cool, nude tone with matte finish,” it has a grey, rosy quality.

nudeall

I tried to experiment with eyebrow pencils and rose colored lipstick to achieve something similar. MAC’s Stone Lip Pencil is the secret to copying the Nude lipstick, if you missed the chance to buy  it like me.

stoneall

 After you have this ashy, grey/brown base color, you need something nude and creamier on top. To get as close as possible to the color of RiRi Hearts MAC Nude, I used MAC Viva Glam II Lipstick.

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TA -DA! My first Dupe!

always blush…even when you bronze

marge

Don’t pinch, it will cause busted capilaries. We all love the way blush makes us look awake and healthy. But depending on the placement of your rouge, you might be looking sick or overly cute. Cream, gel, powder, stain, balm, shimmer, matte.. I love them all and lately my favorite is Bobbi Brown in Pale Pink #9bobbiblush

Where do you put your blusher? On the apple of your cheek? On your temples? Do you use it at all? There are tons of “How To Apply Blush According to Your Face Shape” pictorials on the net, but there is no right or wrong way. Blush should make you look lively and if your current method doesn’t, try using your blush in a different way. Here are some fun one’s:

The Gyaru Girl Sunburn:

[sometimes known as the Lolita look]

Use a smaller sized brush to apply a soft, bright pink or coral blush to the outer corner of your eyes and connect it with the uppermost section of your cheeckbone. Sweep the color  towards your nose.

gyaru

Careful not to look like you have a zombie flu…sickblush

   

The Winter Doll:

[for a flushed, slightly feverish look]

Keeping the color low and to the front of the face will help you achieve this wind-burnt look.

dollyall

Had to remember this scene:dropdeadgorg

The Glazed Blusher:

[for a soft, dewy look]

Try a hydrating facial mist like MAC’s Fix + or dab a little of Josie Maran’s Argon Infinity Oil on the highest point of your cheekbone. Or fake the glaze with a luminizing highlight powder like Bobbi Brown’s Shimmer Brick. Using a fan brush, sweep it on top of your blush at the highest point of your cheekbone. A little on your nose and cupid’s bow to turn up the “moisture.”

dewyall

The goal is dewy, not shiny:

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The Bronzed Beauty:

[for a golden glow]

Put away the pinks and bust out the bronzer for this look. Use a contouring brush or medium sized angle brush to define the depths of your cheekbones. Lessen the orange, if possible, and no sparkles. Dust a little on your temples and up onto your forehead, above the brows.

bronzeeverything

Try not to go overboard:

magda-theres-something-about-mary

Heart Shaped Blush:

[just for cutesy fun]

heartblush